HOW THE SIGNS COMMIT MURDER

dark-astrology:

Aries: starts off as a heated argument leading into a fight. blacks out from rage and sobers up to find opponent dead on the pavement with multiple stab wounds to the stomach and their skull split open due to a curb stomp

Taurus: will hire a hit-man to target their wealthy partner or other wealthy family member to inherit money. acts heart-broken after the loss.

Gemini: kills for the sole purpose of just consistently being annoyed and irritated of someone. gets victim on knees at gun-point and asks if they know why they’re going to kill them.

Cancer:  murders out of betrayal. (for example killing the person their lover had an affair with, killing someone who murdered someone in their family, etc.) Gets victim on ground and chokes them with both hands and a glare full of rage while muttering various insults and comments/rhetorical questions that relate to the what the victim is particularly “guilty” for (i.e. “how could you ____”, ” you _____ ___ ____ son of a bitch.”, etc.)

Leo: hangs victim by the ankles over a sky-rise building until the information they want is given. Drops victim anyway.

Virgo: sets up dinner at home with victim. starts off night as any host would but during the meal the victim is poisoned. continues eating meal normally with the lifeless body still at the table until finished. then takes body, severs limbs, slices all meat off from bones, processes in a blender, and flushes it down the toilet. Nice and neat just how a Virgo likes it.

Libra: stalks victim until perfect opportunity is found. sneaks from behind and strangles victim with rope and a hand covering their mouth. says something witty in the victim’s ear before dying.

Scorpio: kidnaps victim and keeps them tied up in a isolated room. tortures them in various ways whenever the mood strikes until victim is dead.

Sagittarius: unintentional murder. only meant to fight you but punches victim so hard, the brain detaches from the stem. (rabbit punch) While their lifeless body is on the floor, they make comments such as “come on dude, it wasn’t that hard” until they slowly realize and slightly panic as they have just punched someone so hard they fuckin’ died.

Capricorn: uses sniper from a very far and/or high-up building. gets a clean shot straight to the head. wears all black with really cool sunglasses the whole time.

Aquarius: shoots victim in their own home for drug debt. multiple times. with an AK47. will definitely get caught but does not give a damn. slightly smirks in their mugshot.

Pisces: murders out of vengeance. will pretend to forgive and get in good terms with the victim. lures them into secluded area using charm and promising adventure but literally stabs victim in the back. Slides body into a fabric bag, tying the opening shut with cable ties, soaks the bag in gasoline and ignites it. smiles sweetly and walks away.